


Coffee Break

by The_Exile



Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Coffee, Community: picfor1000, Foreshadowing, Gen, Randomness, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10065584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Exile/pseuds/The_Exile
Summary: Dr. Andonuts tries to persuade the Mr Saturns to give him some of their famous vision-inducing coffee.Written for picfor1000 challenge, photo prompthere.





	

Dr. Andonuts was no stranger to the darker moments in the hunt for the most sublime coffee in the Universe.

He had been to Moonside itself and drunken coffee that was brewed in eternal night. Even though Moonside was only an illusion, he still managed to take a few coffee beans back with him, through a careful process of lucid dreaming. It was certainly the strongest coffee he had ever tasted and by the end of the cup he could finally see things from their perspective. However, strength wasn't everything, and there was something about the dreams it brought that seemed as shallow as an illusion.

Not that he didn't still receive deliveries of that blend from his contacts over there sometimes...

He has even sampled the notorious Starman coffee, retrieved one night from the Starman base under Stonehenge. In order to infiltrate the facility, he had been forced to let them take him captive. He could no longer fight as he used to in the old days and he was soon surrounded by their elite forces. He managed to escape in the confusion after using a scrambling device he had disguised as a fancy pin badge, then he fled into the dark. After wandering through the labyrinth that was their base, avoiding the guard patrols and their swarms of eight-armed robots roaming everywhere, he finally found their central command room, where they kept the Apple of Enlightenment. 

They didn't keep their coffee there. It was considered too sacred to bring onto a planet. They stored it in an orbital space station, where it would be closer to the stardust it was made from. The components of a cup of Starman coffee were virtually identical to the material hurled in a psychokinetic starstorm. Dr. Andonuts wasn't even sure whether the coffee was safe for human consumption, which is how he first began manufacturing humanoid robotic bodies.

Whilst searching the control centre, he had managed to take one of their spare teleportation devices that was unattended. Apparently it was unused because it was slightly faulty and was about to be taken away for repairs. After pulling himself out of the garbage chute, he was relieved to find that the teleporter was still keyed to the control satellite their officers were all warping in and out of. The facility was just high enough in their command structure for them to possess some of the coffee. Once he had returned, the base had been shut down and the Chosen Four kindly rescued him from the glass chamber full of green goo he had accidentally teleported straight into, along with all the other prisoners. 

He had journeyed to the Lost Underworld, deep within the centre of the earth, to track down the ravenous, gigantic dinosaurs whose droppings contained the purest fermented coffee. He had hunted the fierce living coffee cups that manifested inside haunted department stores. He had worked upon methods of time travel so that he could revive species of coffee beans that no longer existed. 

And yet the individual known as Mr Saturn, sitting opposite him in a hot spring in the middle of a secluded valley just outside Threed, refused to serve him any coffee.

“I have no some coffee for you boing,” Mr. Saturn apologised in a sing-song lilt, ending his sentence by springing up on his massive, broad feet, attached to a body that was mostly bulbous nose, with no arms to speak of, by short, squat legs. When he landed back in the hot spring they both soaked in, the resulting splash sent ripples throughout the pool, soaking several of the other Mr. Saturns who lounged on blankets or sat around benches made from tree stumps. 

"What exactly do you mean, you have no coffee?" the scientist repeated, aware that he sounded rather stupid for a man who had invented a time machine. The concept of running out of coffee wouldn't normally be this difficult to understand. From everything he had found out through his long years of researching the Mr Saturn tribe in the libraries of every major academic institution in Eagleland before setting out on his expedition, it made as much sense as saying that the coffee had all sprouted wings and flown away. 

"Coffee no for outsiders," Mr. Saturn twirled around with surprising grace for someone with no arms to help them balance, then whistled self-consciously, "Not safe zoom." 

"But you let four underage children have some!" Dr. Andonuts could no longer hide the exasperation in his tone as he tried not to throw his hands up in despair, "They were still learning to grasp their psychic powers at the time. How can that possibly be less dangerous?"

"They needed planet dream. Important. Destiny," the Mr. Saturn spun around again before deliberately landing in a flop, "You not want to look. Not always good. You good friend of all Mr. Saturn. We trade at you any time. Help with difficult science things. No give you coffee. Bad idea."

"And how would it be better not knowing your destiny and being unable to face danger when it arrives?" 

"Can change it, knowing," said Mr. Saturn, "You not want know, anyway. You just want coffee."

"True," said Dr. Andonuts, "But isn't that goal pure enough in and of itself?"

It took the scientist several more weeks to persuade the Saturns to even allow him to look at the coffee, never mind smell it. Another week in preparation, meditating at the spring, was required before they allowed him a sip. As he brought the cup to his lips, the doubts began inside his mind.

Knowing your destiny can change it. Maybe there were destinies it was better off not knowing. He had already travelled in time. He had even lost at least one time machine somewhere, possibly had it stolen. 

Still, he couldn't turn down coffee. This was the last one he needed for his collection, his ultimate goal.

He tilted the cup back and closed his eyes.


End file.
